The Passionate Heart

Hot or cold, my heart is passionate and feels all of the time.  I have been in this weird space where I feel the edge of paranoia and depression touching me.  However, I feel like I might have the power to stop it.  My boyfriend is right I am probably just in a mood.  I need to summon the courage to keep going to feel on top of things.  I painted my nails a brilliant red and keep wondering to my self how many classes I can handle.  I want to study biology, but I have an easy in to a graduate program in Library and Information Science.  My mom seems to think that being able to take a few classes at the junior college would be good for me.  I just don't know what to do and I feel scared about making the wrong decision.  There is just so much on my mind.  I will try to be present in the moment and see if it serves me.

This must be a real blog it is personal and confessional.  I feel better that is the purpose.

Too Many

It is still raining outside, and I was motivated by reading a blog that talked about rights extending to more than just humans.  In the ether, I began writing this poem with out the expectation that it would be able the deep feelings that I feel towards respecting the living and breath of all life.  People think I am a nut and they call me an environmentalist.  Really though, I just feel empathetic to more than just humanity.

Here is the poem I wrote:


Too Many

There are too many,
brilliant feet,
marching onward in the time of business and stretches
Together they break the the earth, harshly into the ground
in loud forward marches, pulling things crisp and vibrant
into the stale air I breath.

my naked hands grab the larger pieces of the ground and foliage
I feel the broken and crumbling edges of life
two paces and five feet behind the crowd, and the daily bustle pains in a screech
pains the soul of my ears

I am alone and watching everyone, move ahead of nature
knowing that we are too close to the ground to take care of it

sensitively, I hold it as it slips through my fingers and I take it all home
to put back together and letting it live

unfortunately, I only have an apartment...and the space inside me
inside and out is limited.

What is blogging and what does it mean?

I have begun to write a blog but I wanted to know more about the advent of blogging.  What does it mean to tell your own story in daily pages.  I recently met a woman that considered blogging publishing, however I had a adverse reaction to this in the beginning.  Do I really need to know about the daily goings on with life?  How do you get to the deeper things besides recipes and the cute thing that your cat did. (Recipes and cats stories always welcome, I might add.)  Then, I realize that it was a important way to communicate with others.  I would like raise the bar on my more critical self and give blogging a real chance.  What is a quality biography? Is it detail, honesty or amusement.  I am ready for the experiment.

Today went well.  I worked some, played some and watched a movie.  That is the end of today's story.  How about this?

Detail: The persistent rain is glorious in the desert.  Three damp nights and I dream of wild flowers.

Honesty:  I am falling short of my own expectations by eating food that is bad for me and I think I should return a piece of real silverware that was in the pile that somebody gave me.  But, I am worried as to whether to take the time to polish it or not.

Amusement:  The best pet moms are the ones whose animals have the luxury of ignoring them.